College Football
When people ask about my football career, they are surprised to hear about my college football experience. Upon learning that I was on an NFL active roster and played at a small FCS school, they assumed I was a four-year starter who dominated at the FCS level, which was not the case. I was on some good teams. In my first three years, we only lost four games total and I was a back up for all three of those years. There was a good player a year ahead of me who was voted captain of the team my junior year. The offense used the tight end primarily as a pass protector and run blocker and he was stronger than me in that role. Even though I was an excellent pass catching tight end, the offensive coordinator stuck largely to one tight end sets. Since we were winning games, there was no impetus to change.
My senior year, the wheels came off the program. We only won two games. In hindsight, I realize that we (the coaching staff and players) didn’t know how to handle adversity. As the first recruiting class of the relatively young coaching staff (who had previously celebrated three winning seasons), the sharp decline created a lot of shock and fear. The new staff had inherited a strong program developed by the previous head coach, who had since moved on to a higher level of football. My class was their first attempt at building the program wholly on their own and, on offense, we were not that talented, neither were the three classes below us. The offensive strengths we did have varied considerably from the offense that had worked so well the previous three years.
As we continued to struggle offensively, the two leading offensive coaches blamed the players and continued to execute what had been a successful offense with the previous talent, but clearly was not working with their current personnel. The players, although not entirely blameless as they also performed poorly, succumbed to the discouraging environment the coaches fostered, and negativity prevailed throughout the program. Nonetheless, I loved playing the game, even during the losing season, and played well. My senior year, the quarterback to tight end connection was one of the only bright spots of a struggling offense (credit also to the offensive line and running backs who provided the pass protection).
That said, following the season there were no accolades. I was second team all-conference, behind another talented tight end with record breaking stats on a far better offense. At the team banquet, a very solemn affair compared to the previous three years, I was not the team MVP, nor the offensive player of the year. I was awarded the strength and conditioning coach’s award, which recognized perseverance and work ethic.
After four years, my football resume showed I was a pretty good FCS college football player. There was absolutely no indication that I would have any opportunity to continue to play football at the professional level.
I didn’t process what occurred that season until years later when I was exposed to other very successful and unsuccessful football programs. It took comparing and contrasting the cultures of different organizations to figure out this team’s tailspin.
Coaching college athletics can be a difficult profession. At a division one level, with few exceptions, you are judged by wins and losses. Your family’s livelihood depends on the performance of a bunch of college kids. This team’s offense was led by a young, bright coach with high coaching aspirations, making it difficult not to be transactional with your players.
One of the biggest lessons I learned during my college football career was transactional relationships are fragile. Through future experience, I saw that great coaches and leaders develop transformational relationships with the other staff members and players. Instead of the coaches’ actions showing that their relationship and the player’s value is based on what they are doing on the field for the program and therefore the coach, they show that the coach is there to develop the player, creating a foundation of trust and buy in from the player. Subsequently, an athlete not only performs better, but is more committed to the team’s effort. By building transformational relationships, the coach fosters a more resilient and grittier program, not to mention a legacy that transcends wins and losses.
The biggest takeaway from my college years pertained to adversity. There were the standard football lessons in adversity from a physical standpoint (a torn MCL, a separated shoulder, a nagging hip injury), however, the biggest challenge was mental, which came in the form of a coaching staff that didn’t value my ability to contribute in larger roles the first three years on the team. In short, I learned that while other people can provide beneficial feedback, in the end, it didn’t matter what other people thought of me. It only mattered what I thought of myself. In addition, I learned the importance of focusing on the things within my control and not those out of my control. These two realizations went hand in hand and created a loop that would benefit me throughout my adult life. Here is the cycle:
External input – one’s doubt of my capability to contribute or perform at a high level. While understanding why someone felt this way was good data, his/her thought or opinion was out of my control.
My response – alchemizing the lack of confidence from others (what many find discouraging) to motivate me to work harder and smarter at becoming more capable and performing at a higher level.
Result – ability to contribute more and perform at a higher level due to the work, while simultaneously forging lasting confidence by reinforcing my confidence in myself and decreasing other people’s impact on that confidence.
Are we working to control the things that are in our control and letting go of those that aren’t? Challenge equals opportunity. Can we harness challenging circumstances to perform better at our craft? Let’s be transformational leaders on our team. – Spiral up
